Life hasn’t offered much ease lately. The shadow of COVID-19 has unsettled even the strongest minds, stirring fear, isolation, and unease. Some say a global mental health reckoning is at hand. And yet, in the quiet of reflection, I count it as grace — that it’s been a long while since I’ve felt the weight of not wanting to live.
I Had Passive Suicidal Ideation. Here’s What Everyone Should Know
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When Suicidal Thoughts Don’t Mean You Want to Die
For years, I lived with what psychologists call passive suicidal ideation — thinking about death, but never planning it. Between my late teens and late twenties, these thoughts surfaced during hard times. I didn’t want to die; I just wanted to stop feeling.
“Anyone who expresses such thoughts needs to be heard,” says psychologist Dan Reidenberg, PsyD. “Passive ideation can be an early warning sign — and a chance for prevention.”
The pandemic only amplified mental health struggles for many. But one positive shift has been the rise in online therapy and support platforms like Talkspace or Supportiv, which can help those unable to access traditional services. If you use these, experts advise checking for privacy and ethical practices before signing up.
When a loved one hints at not wanting to exist, don’t shy away. “Talking about suicide doesn’t put the idea in someone’s head,” explains psychologist James Overholser, PhD. “It can actually provide relief.” Honest conversation — simply listening — can make a powerful difference.
For me, that openness was transformative. Speaking my thoughts out loud stripped them of their secrecy. I realized I wasn’t alone. Therapy, mindfulness, and a strong support network gradually quieted those intrusive thoughts.
Passive suicidal ideation is more common than many think. It often stems from depression, loneliness, or a sense of hopelessness. While it might feel manageable, experts warn that it can evolve into something dangerous without intervention.
Treatment helps. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), medication, and lifestyle changes can reframe how we process pain. With the right care, people can — and do — recover.
The hardest step is often admitting there’s a problem worth treating. Many delay help because they feel their struggles aren’t “serious enough.” But every thought of not wanting to exist deserves attention and compassion.
If you’re having thoughts of suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) in the U.S. or the Samaritans at 116 123 in the U.K. You don’t have to face those thoughts alone.
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They call it harsh. They rarely call it what it is. Black parenting has long been judged without context, misunderstood as severity rather than seen as protection. But in a world where Black children are too often viewed through a harsher lens, discipline becomes something deeper than control. It becomes preparation. It becomes survival. In the wake of events on Clapham High Street, the question of parenting has once again taken centre stage. But before we ask where the parents are, perhaps we should ask what they are up against. This piece explores the truth behind Black parenting, the tension between protection and perception, and the shift towards healing in a world that still demands resilience. - Editor’s Letter April 2026
We need to talk about the truth behind being overqualified and underpaid. As we step into a new financial year, the same uncomfortable question keeps resurfacing: Who really benefits from our labour—and at what cost? From pay gaps to invisible work, from limited representation to the constant pressure to prove ourselves, the economics of being Black is lived every day. This month’s Editor’s Letter breaks it down with honesty, evidence, and urgency. Read on, because naming the truth is the first step to changing it. - The Homecoming, as MOBOs marks 30 years with epic celebration.
It was a night of legacy, star power and cultural pride as the MOBO Awards marked an incredible 30 years with a landmark celebration in Manchester. Bringing together global icons like Pharrell Williams, Estelle and Tiwa Savage, the milestone event proved why the MOBOs remain a cornerstone of Black music and culture. At the heart of it all was Estelle’s powerful homecoming, a full-circle moment that perfectly captured the spirit of an evening dedicated not just to honouring the past, but shaping the future. - Mayor Margaret Greer’s Gala Unites Enfield in Purpose
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